Transformation

What I Learned from the People of Haiti

Everyone knows that there is always a gift in a crisis.  I watched this last week, every time I had the opportunity, the devastation in Haiti.  I mean, who could miss that.  But, I saw something else that brought me to tears many times.  I caught a glimpse of the resilience present in so many.  I saw their Spirits, their Essence leading the way for them, including the ones who were recovered after 9 days, 11 days – alive when they “should” not have been able to survive.  What kept them breathing?  What brought them through?  The strength of what we all have inside but many don’t stay aware of it.  We have a Soul that can pull us through things we find unimaginable to have to bear.  Do you use it or just give into your pain or despair or hopelessness at  moments when what you perceive as awful is happening to you in your own life?  

As 56 orphans were flying to the US, none having ever been on a plane before, none knowing about how loud an old military plane can sound, or the turbulence, or…  Did you hear what these 56 children did?  Not one of them cried, not one of them screamed.  Instead, they sang, they were joyous, they knew many spiritual songs and their voices filled the plane with faith, anticipation, gratefulness – for what?  FOR LIFE, FOR A CHANCE TO KEEP LIVING.  

In another part of Haiti a group had gathered at a cemetery.  To cry?  No, to sing spirituals, to praise God that they were alive.  A 15 day old baby was found 8 days after the original earthquake.  How could that be?

It reminds me of a movie I saw many years ago called – The Gods Must Be Crazy.  Did you see that movie?  It was about a coke bottle changing this small island of people who had never heard or seen anything like that. Competition began – we want that bottle, no we want it….  The analogy is that – these people perhaps, in Haiti, have never been introduced to things like “but why don’t I have this” or “how could this happen to me?” or “Life sucks” etc.etc.etc.  I know that baby hadn’t.  I know those orphans hadn’t.  I know that those who were spending their days by the cemetery hadn’t.  

How do I know this?  What would most people you know be doing after such a disaster?  What I became clear about was that, most days we don’t take the time to be grateful for our next breath, for the one we just took, for the privilege of being able to have water whenever we want.  I know that many of you have lived through earthquakes here, downpours of rain, just like last week, but we have lost sight, some of us, of seeing ourselves and each other as Souls filled with the goodness, the joy, the absolute beauty inside and out of people.  Yes, some of us have been very wounded by the cruelty of some, but I know they, the so-called cruel ones, must have been hurt in the past and are taking it out on others, rather than learning how to heal from that great grief they carry. 

My great desire for you (and I trust for yourselves) is that your heart can grow large enough to allow what is to be.  To know that you are doing whatever it is that you are called, by Spirit, not your ego, to do.  You are in charge of what you think (as long as you are conscious of what you are thinking) and you can think “Thank God I am able to walk, to talk, to take a breath, to be generous, to be compassionate, to have the feelings that some are so cut off from.  

I applaud all of you who have taken the time to look at your own life in this past 2 weeks and have seen it from a brand new perspective.  I trust the rest of you can and will.  It is gratifying, to say the least.

Let out your Self

When you were born, you were only a Soul, a Spirit, a Self.  Soon, you began to develop a false self, a self that was pleasing to caretakers, to all those you deemed necessary to survive.  Thus began the journey of creating that self that is ego, that self that is most likely alienated from the Soul, has no idea about what the Soul may be saying to you at any given moment.  You started acting like you needed to in order to assure you were taken care of, paid attention to, liked.  It expanded, that false self, when you started school.  You then had a larger audience to please.  Yikes, you were bombarded with messages of what was acceptable and what wasn’t.  You, as a Soul, as a Self, got completely lost in all of this deluge of what and who you needed to be.  You had no conscious awareness of it all, you just did what you did in order to have the most likely outcome of “like-ability!” What a job you’ve taken on.  Very few don’t.  I do know some, but very few escape this part of their journey to adulthood.

Now, what is it going to take for you to get back to that original Self, the one that is authentically You?  It is definitely going to take your doing a bit of research on what you are currently doing that is  ”not you.”  Do you even have an inkling of what that is?  Most don’t.  Start by becoming accurately aware of those words coming out of your mouth that smack of “do you like me now?” kind of tone.  Be very conscious of all your actions, all your interactions and see which ones are coming from your inner Core and which ones are coming from practicing what is necessary for those around you to give you attention, to find you acceptable.  

Do you see that others have been defining you for years?  Who are they?  Who are the ones you’ve given over your power to to decide your fate, your personality, your responses to life, to circumstances, to everything.  It won’t take long for you to see that very little of what you say, if anything, is coming from your Soul.  Most, if not all of you, is driven by this need (you think) to be liked, to be accepted, to be popular.  But at what cost, may I ask?  It is so draining to have to be “on guard” all the time, to assess what you say so that you can be sure it will have the correct reactions by those you think you have to please.

When are you planning to live what your Soul came here to experience, tomorrow, next year, in the next decade?  How about now?  What is preventing you from changing now?  Are you too scared?  What is the worst that can happen?  You won’t have any friends, anyone who finds you appealing?  Please, they don’t even know you and you don’t know you, so how can you be sure that your authentic Self won’t be 10 times more appealing than that false self you developed so long ago.  You are still being the self that you created when you were 2 or 3 years old.  How much judgment do they have to decide what is best to be like, what is best to say or do in any one moment?

Take a huge leap of faith and begin to listen to that very quiet voice deep within you that is ready to blossom into a fabulous person that you came into this world to be.  You are an unrepeatable, irreplaceable Being that has unique, one-of-a-kind offering to give the world.  I have told you that before.  It is definitely true.  You must get acquainted with the Soul, though, in order to know what you are to be saying and doing in each moment of  the day.  Ask:  What am I to do now?  Who am I to speak to?  And, about what?  When you are still long enough and have no preconceived notions about what your Soul may be saying, It can speak to you and you will often be astounded at what It may request and require that you do, so that you are living out loud what you came into the world to offer.

I am so excited by the possibility that you may just take me up on this invitation to transform your life.  You can write me anytime and tell me what your Soul is both leading you out of and into as the days emerge.  Let your Soul lead the way, stop trying to outguess it or tell it what you think you need.  Allow the Soul of you to be in charge.  You may be absolutely incredibly blown away by what you find your Self doing, once you start listening carefully to only your Soul.

That Soul of yours has Its own ideas, Its own agenda and Its own voice.  It is unlike anything you have ever heard before and often has ideas you would never have dreamed of considering.  That’s the joy of it all, though.  You are beginning to truly live at that point, not just exist and be at other people’s mercy.

Are you ready?  Begin.

Get Rid of that Critical Voice Inside

I have never seen anyone who is free from a critical voice inside their mind.  I have some who are consumed by it, others have it unless they are distracted by their work or some particular passionate conversations that they engage in.  Today, I invite you to begin observing, witnessing every thought that you have, every phrase that comes into your mind.  If it is negative or critical, just notice it.  For the first week, it is important to get used to observing all your thoughts.  Then, it would be wise to begin recording (in a notebook or journal) the statements you say to yourself.  What is the first thing you think about every day?  (You usually repeat the same thoughts day after day, that is the problem, you are reinforcing the thought each time you think it).  I have some people I see in my office that tell me, once they start observing their thoughts, that they say “I hate you” as the first phrase they think.  I encourage them to substitute immediately another thought once they have noticed what they are thinking – such as, “I am a Child of the Universe, I have a great purpose to achieve, I am important….”  Whatever you choose, you must substitute something positive about you the instant you say that negative first sentence.  If not, you will continue along the downward spiral into a horrible place that sets the tone for the day.  Even if you just say one phrase, most likely that isn’t enough to stop the powerful phrase that has taken over your mind for many years.  

You are not what you say to yourself, you are a unique, one-of-a-kind precious gift to all the world and are here to do something that only YOU can do.  Wherever the negative words came from, they were NOT true, you must believe me, even though you have spoken (to yourself) these words many years to yourself.  Your Soul has such a different view of you, tune into your deeper Self, that Soul and ask It who you are.  You will hear such wonderful phrases, so many descriptive words that are what you really are.  You are not a piece of junk, a mistake, an unworthy person who happens to inhabit this space at this time.  You are here to do incredible things that only you can do.

However, you must first know who you are, who you truly are, not who “they” said you were – whether those people were your classmates, your caretakers, relatives, teachers, neighbors.  You are NOT what others define you as – you are just NOT.  You may have taken on those labels over time, you may have believed them since you didn’t know to counter them with words you knew to say.  That still doesn’t make them true.  You just took them on like a set of clothes that you borrowed or bought at a second hand store.  

You are here because you have a calling, something that only you are here to do.  So what if you don’t know what that is – yet.  It is so because that is how the world was set up.  You can’t be repeated, if you don’t do what you are here to do, no one else is going to do it, it will just go undone.  That doesn’t make sense, now, does it? 

Come to your senses and ignore your mind for a month, especially in the mornings when you arise.  You are most vulnerable to old tapes when you first wake up.  You aren’t functioning with that enlightened mind that exists deep inside of you.  Wake up to some new music, wake up to words you have heard from me or another wise Soul, but don’t believe that voice inside that criticizes you for outward appearances, for mistakes you made 5 years ago, for what you think is unforgivable that you did when you were in school.  

You are harder on yourself than anyone could ever be, that is just the truth, but you can change that the second you become aware that – just maybe what you are telling yourself about yourself is an old tape that needs to be updated.  You are playing tapes in your head that people who are no longer relevant in your life (even if they were parents) told you at age 6 or 9 or 13 years old.  Do you want to go around with a mind that is still stuck at those ages?  I trust you don’t.  

The first step out of this mudhole is to stop your old tape, observe it, ask if your Soul believes it, and replace that old tape with one that is greatly updated.  What is something you have done in your life that you can be proud of?  Did you complete high school?  Did you go to college or did you get a job, work while you were still in school, find a career you loved by “accident” (there are no accidents)?  What has someone said over the years that thrilled you at that moment, even though your critical voice took it away from you before the hour passed?  

I know absolutely wonderful, fantastic people who are doing incredible work in this world who still have a voice inside that negates 99% if their accomplishments before they can even swallow them.  I’m not saying that accomplishments are the only way to feel great about yourself, either.  You are a human/spiritual being who is absolutely magnificent, no matter what you think you did in the past that erases that truth, it doesn’t.  You have LET what you did or didn’t do (like go to college, not be the perfect parent or partner or worker in a job that you hated) color how you see yourself.  

Have you ever heard of Grace?  Have you ever heard of forgiveness?  You seem to think that you deserve to carry around a large stick and beat yourself as what you deserve since you weren’t the perfect….  You not only deny what forgiveness is but you lay an unneeded burden on yourself that complicates, if not destroys, what you could be doing now.

Update your way of being in this world today.  Stop beating yourself up for something that you did even a week ago.  Forgive yourself, know that others make mistakes and can go right on forging their paths to greatness while you sit in your muck and berate yourself.  What is the purpose of that?  Does it forward you or your calling?  Does it help to assuage your guilt?  NO, it only keeps all the negativity going inside of you.  You are preventing transformation this moment by how you are treating yourself.  Notice what is going on in that mind of yours every day and, if it isn’t positive and forwarding you, give it up.  You needn’t carry old garbage around, thinking you deserve that kind of life or punishment for whatever you did or said or didn’t do. 

What happened in the past is over.  You either asked for forgiveness from those you may have hurt or you need to now and then you must let it go.  Freedom is around that next bend.  Don’t you want to travel lightly upon the earth as you go about doing what you came here to do?  Then, give up all that old stuff you think you must hold onto and set your Soul free to do Its thing.

Your Soul needs to start leading the way in your life.  When you awaken, turn to your Soul and ask It what to say about you – it has some fantastic things to offer you if you only allow It Its voice.  You are not a mistake and you could never do enough “wrongs” to deserve to be punished by your mind.  If you did something really horrible, go to the courts and turn yourself in, otherwise, let yourself alone and turn your life over to your Soul, It will forever bring you Love, Peace, Joy and a new life.  What a gift to get, just by letting go of old guilts, old voices, old critics, old, old stuff that is NOT who you are.

You are not your mistakes, You are rather what your Soul defines you as – an unrepeatable, irreplaceable, indescribable lovely Being who is here to enjoy life and bring fresh energy to all who touch your life and whose lives you touch.

Get into the NOW and stay there.  It is where all is created and manifested.  Shut off those old voices once and for all, the rewards will be obvious and you will be a brand new person.  Be transformed by the renewing of your mind – today.

Living From the Inside Out

As you go through each day, begin to notice whether you are reacting to something you have just seen or heard or are staying with the strong intention you set for yourself each morning.  It makes all the difference in the world whether you, first of all, set an intention, and second of all, follow through with it no matter what.  You see, if you are a reactor, then anyone who comes into your space could trigger an emotion that you end up having the rest of the day.  I’m sure that has happened to you, you started out thinking that it was going to be a glorious day, then someone (either a person you know or a stranger at a store, the post office, the cleaners, etc) said something that upset you or ignored what you were asking of them or gave you feedback you didn’t ask for….  Living from the inside means that you are committed to staying with your choice, not their response, about how the day was going to go for you.  You always have a decision to make, whenever you are around another being.  You can listen to them but stay centered on what you set as your intention or you can become susceptible to what they say and react to what you don’t like or don’t expect or….. It is quite empowering to become a responder to life and not a reactor.  You get to have the day, your mood, your emotional well-being stay in your own hands, so to speak, not in anyone else’s way of talking to you or their actions toward you.

The other day I was listening to a patient tell me about a situation where they were really confronted with a dilemma.  They cared about this person but had decided that this person was not going to be in their life anymore.  When the person came around, the patient had a huge challenge, should they stay with their decision or be swayed by their feeling “sorry” for the situation this person was in.  The real issue was – this person had been in the same situation for many months and the patient had been “talked into” (in their view) going with what the other person asked instead of their own stand on the event at the moment.  So, the patient was confronted with a conflict – would they fold under the pressure of the other (living from the outside in) or from their own commitment to themselves (living from the inside out).  The patient ended up, that night, giving in to the other person.  The important outcome, though, was that the patient saw that their folding under the pleas of the person did not end up having the patient feel good at all about themselves.  This point is critical to take note of – you, as you transform – will be confronted with many situations where it is hard to decide for yourself what to do – unless you stay firm in your internal knowing that what you have chosen as your stance is where you will live – no matter what.  No matter what means no matter the circumstances, the story that someone is telling you, no matter how many times in the past you have given in to this person, no matter anything.  You respect yourself so much more when you decide that you are only going to live from the inside out, not ever from the outside appearance of something that of course continuously changes.  

This stance may sound selfish to you, self-indulgent even, but it really isn’t.  It is the only way to be in charge of your own life and the path you have chosen to take.  You have been whipped around by the many different situations in your life and especially by those who know what and where your soft spots are.  Even without consciously setting out to do so, the people that have taken advantage of your kindness, your generosity in the past are going to challenge your stance, now that you have taken one.  The way to honor you is to remember all the time what your intention is, your commitment is and your desire to become one who can withstand the pressures that others place on you.

What do you want to accomplish in this life of yours?  Where do you want to go?  Do you want to be in charge of you or allow others to be in charge?  You get to decide and your decision will definitely affect how you end up feeling about you at the end of the day.  Notice your energy when you get home from your job or work out or set of errands.  Are you feeling the way you want to feel?  Did you follow what you set as your intention before you left?  If you did, you most likely will be feeling even more alive, filled with vitality, excited about your life than when you left home.

All of life consists of choices, of course you know that.  The more aware you are of those choices, the more power you have over your day.  I urge you to experiment with living only from the inside out for at least a week, taking notes about what you observed about yourself all along the way.  Then analyze the results and see on which days you felt the most freedom and which days you felt rather down, defeated, had low energy.  The correlation to what you chose will be closely correlated with how you feel at the end of each day.

Become the Center of your own life, that has nothing to do with being selfish, but rather everything to do with who you put in charge of your life.  Let it be You, You, that Spiritual/Human Spectacular Being that you create every moment.  Possibilities unimagined until now will show up as you begin to live a life that is your own, all day and all evening.

A Look at Eating Disorders

I used to treat only eating disorders because I was the chief psychologist of an inpatient program as part of the teaching hospital of the medical school at the University of CA Irvine.  We were sent the toughest cases because of our reputation.  (Later I developed, chose the staff for and then directed an inpatient and outpatient eating disorder center at a prestigious psychiatric hospital in another state).  As a result of these experiences, I have many, many stories of extreme cases.  I remember one time a beautiful flight attendant came into the program (she had great pressure from the airline to stay at a particular weight and was taken off of a flight if she was weighed by them and found to be one pound over the limit).  She was a challenge because of her desperate internal struggle between “minding” the authorities and deciding to be a person with her own choices.  One day, she shared with me in a session at the hospital, she came home after a trip, drove to her home in one of the canyons where no stores stayed open very late and found that she had absolutely nothing in her cabinets or refrigerator to eat.  She didn’t keep extra food because she would devour it, no matter how full she felt.  It was late.  No possibilities were open to her to get anything.  She opened the one can she had of dog food and began to eat it.  Suddenly she caught a glimpse of herself in her mind, got very scared and called for help.  There are lots of experiences like that I could share with you.  No one but an eating disorder person could relate fully to this woman.  She wasn’t crazy, she wasn’t mentally ill, she had an addiction.  All of those who have any kind of an addiction, no matter what it is, can also understand her desperation at that moment in time.  It is powerful, it has taken over one’s life when it has gotten to this point.  What can a person do?  Not just because I am a psychologist but because I know this to be absolutely the truth – get professional help.  Go to someone who has experience for several reasons – they have the tools, they have the knowledge and they have a deeper understanding of the depth of your compelling desire to eat until you are overly full and then either purge or use laxatives or…  

Actually, there are two kinds of bulimics, which we are speaking about now, another day I will talk at length about anorexia nervosa but today, it is the bulimic I am describing.  The first kind is drawn to how it feels to get full – they erroneously think that getting full means they are finally feeling fulfilled.  Not a chance is that true, but it feels like it is true, until the next time they feel empty – which is most likely very soon, a day or less.  Then they must do it again, to get that false feeling of fullness.  I once had a bulimic say to me words that I’ll never forget:  ”I will binge to the point of unconsciousness until my Soul is no longer starving.”  Our work together could certainly begin in a deeper way once she had “gotten” it that binging was about a Soul-hunger, not a stomach hunger.  Her Soul was crying out to be listened to, to be honored, to be fed.  Soul-food is very different from regular food, as of course everyone knows. Or do they?  

The other kind of bulimic gets addicted to purging.  That person feels that if they vomit out all the food they had just binged on they would no longer feel the awful feelings they were feeling at that time.  They felt that they would be free of them if they just got rid of them by purging.  Again, not a chance is that true, but ut feels true to them at the moment – every moment- that they go to the food.  ”Maybe this time it will work and I won’t ever have those feelings come up again, or those images, or…”

What is the similarity between these  2 types?  They both have a belief that enough food or enough purging will “cure” them.  That they will never have to deal with emptiness or a myriad of horrid feelings again.  When either of those ways don’t work after awhile, they just do them again, hoping that this time they will have success.

Of course I have only touched on all the complexities of bulimia, but I wanted to bring these particular points up today to have you examine if you or anyone you know is battling with something that does literally take over one’s life.  If so, perhaps awareness will bring a bit of clarity as to what needs to happen next, not repeating the same pattern but interrupting it by getting help.  It doesn’t go away on its own.  It doesn’t solve any issues you may have, it only increased them.

One other thing, it isn’t a good idea for anyone in a family who suspects (or knows) that another member is having this challenge to get in between the bulimia and the behavior you know is going on.  You aren’t the one who can solve this kind of huge issue.  Make a phone call instead.  I have known partners who try to assist with this issue and the relationship suffers because of it.  

No matter how long someone has been having this major challenge, it is very possible for them to recover.  Never think that a person is doomed because they have an addiction of any kind (and I have dealt with really tough ones besides this one).  It is totally possible, with a willingness to reach out, not  for food, but for professional help.

How are you doing with the dwelling?

I wonder if you have considered seriously that dwelling in possibility takes conscious effort?  I have noticed that most people think the same thoughts every day and worry about the same things consistently.  Have you ever thought that you are one of those who do?  You probably don’t see yourself as a person who has such a “silly” habit, but… just observe your thoughts for two days.  Let them be what they usually are, don’t edit.  What have you found?  You, if you are being honest with yourself, most likely worry about the same things, ruminate about the same things, and end up having no conclusions about the same thing at the end of a day?  What about that seems silly?  Maybe nothing, but I imagine that you would like to think of yourself as more creative, more innovative, more of a wise person than what that person connotes as you imagine them.  You are educated, you are enlightened, you are wise, you are tuned in – are those some of the descriptive phrases you would put onto who you are?  However, then there is the reality of what happens in a day, actually everyday.  You fall back into old patterns and think, as you look i that morning mirror – yikes, is that me?  When did I put on that weight, where did that new wrinkle come from, what is happening to me, day after day?  You criticize yourself way before you even leave for your destination.

Notice today, if it is the morning hours when you are reading this, or notice yesterday, if you are taking stock of your thoughts over a two day period.  What are you finding?  No changes are taking place, really, because you haven’t taken action on what is needed – a makeover in the thinking area of your life.  You are stuck in this critical role of yourself.

I invite you to get up tomorrow (whether it is morning now or evening) and look in the mirror using someone who definitely loves you’s eyes.  Who unconditionally loves you?  Who in your life is totally accepting of you – no matter what?  Who says, “stop that negative talk, you are a fabulous person, period.”  It may be a partner, a best friend, a sibling -or- it may be God (Infinite Intelligence, The Source of our Lives, whatever you call It) the one who created you in Its image and likeness.  Can you honestly say that you are not acceptable when you use that person’s eyes (or the eyes of the Presence)?  No way, you begin to stutter or get silent, you certainly don’t continue being like you were before you became consciously aware of this long-held pattern of looking at yourself in the mirror.  Start tonight, start tomorrow, just start having that intense awareness of what you are saying to you – and then most likely – changing it.  Surprising things will begin to occur, startling understanding will emerge, people that said those things to you will come into focus so that you can deal with them.  The invitation is yours, are you going to pick it up and do it?

10 Steps to Step into the World of Possibilities

1. Focus your attention on what you believe about your world now, at this moment.  Ask yourself if YOU think you’re experiencing your family, work, environment, friends (everything with that world) as a place of “all things are possible here, it is exciting, open, challenging…” or “things are about like they have been for several years, some ups, some downs, mostly status quo.”  

2. Next, be willing to take 100% responsibility for EVERYTHING that is happening in your world, whether you believe you are the “victim” of certain circumstances of not.

3. Begin immediately to do at least one action that is outside of your ordinary way of doing or being.  In other words, be outrageous (not endangering yourself or others), just step outside of the limits you unknowingly have placed around your life.

4. As you do the above activity, make it uncommon, far out FOR YOU to consider and one which can benefit you in some way, like building a birdhouse when you’ve never picked up a hammer or driving over to a friend’s house and leaving a note (or flowers) on their doorstep.  I imagine you’ve thought of a few by now.  Don’t censor yourself, rather unlimit yourself.  

5. Next, write a paragraph about how it felt to move beyond your “normal” way of thinking, acting, doing, and being.  Write about what you imagined before doing your uncommon activity, and how you see yourself and your world now that you’ve accomplished the action.  If you have really experimented with and been honest about the above steps, you are moving into the land of possibilities, a land where new vistas can be seen.  The horizon of your particular life has just expanded and YOU did it.

6. Okay, now focus your attention on what you think a miracle is.  I am guessing it is some form of “I’d like one but I don’t know how to have it occur” or “I don’t really believe in miracles.”  Think of a time in your life where something extraordinary happened, something you didn’t think could occur AND it did.  I know you have at least occurrence you can consider here.  When you have one in mind, notice that the miracle happened in spite of your particular belief.

7. Other miracles can show up in your life now IF you consciously choose to look for them and you have shifted your perception of the “way things are,” “the way your world is set up,” to the impossible happening.  For the next four days, take the time to be in the world of miracles (unlimited possibilities)/  They are happening around you right now but your perception and your beliefs keep you from noticing them.

8. After 4 days, it you haven’t yet seen and or experienced at least one miracle you are probably still in the land of skepticism.  Open yourself to the unknown more.  Stay tuned in to what is present right now in your world that you hadn’t paid attention to before this moment.  At first, it may seem small or not even in the category of the miraculous.  Look again.  Expand your fenced-in notions of what a miracle, a possibility, an unlimiting thought would be.  Remember, giving up the small area of the room you’ve lived in a lot of your life to explore a mansion with open doors everywhere is necessary for possibilities to enter.  Begin walking out of the room towards the rest of the house immediately.  This action means literally stepping out of what you know is comfortable, secure (and a little boring) to vast realms of adventurous, mystifying, but intriguing explorations.

9. Allow, allow, allow the old beliefs of what your world has been and must be to fade away and let in the newness, the glory, the ecstasy of that splendor you are beginning to unleash, to unimprison.

10. After all, what DO you want to do with you one wild and precious life??? Whatever it is, continue to know that, if you are having fun, playing this life intentionally but lightly, you can dwell in this world of possibilities.  The reward is inherent in the process and this possibility world gives back to you the magic and wonder a child naturally creates.

Begin Again

Do you feel rather stale?  Do you ever think that you don’t have any energy left for what you are doing day after day after day?  Well, maybe you are not heeding the signs that you are to go to a new level in your life.  Your relationships, your work life, your ways of spending time when you leave work just may need to be examined.  It is essential that you don’t let fear stop you from moving on in any (or all) areas of your life.  The Universe is progressive and if you aren’t growing, learning, excited each day of your life, you just may be in a stagnant place.  I would be astounded if you told me that you weren’t scared to expand, yet, it is time, if you answered “yes” to any of my questions.  You are in charge, you know, and only you can make the choice to begin anew, to start fresh, to have a startling, astounding change in what you are doing or how you are being.  The time is now, for, if you miss this opportunity to grow, to transform, you are then even more stuck in complacency, a land that goes absolutely nowhere.  

I urge you to examine closely just what doesn’t fit anymore in the life you are leading.  What seems out of place?  What is rather boring, certainly not challenging to you, at this point in your life?  Don’t let time go by as you contemplate your next “move.”  Only you know what fits your unique set of skills and gifts.  Be bold, be creative, be adventurous.  What do you think you have to lose?  What is holding you back?  Answer quickly, before you mind makes up some rather flimsy excuses!  You are here to do something grand.  I can hear you say – how do you know!  I know, because we all are here with our own set of wonderful offerings to the world and you are still playing too small for what you are here to do.  You may be “comfortable,”  (in that you aren’t having to stretch yourself) but that isn’t going to cut it if you are self-aware enough to know what you are doing.  In truth, you are hiding.  You don’t want to be pushed, seen as ignoring glaring signals, but that is most likely what is happening in your life these days.  The world is transforming much more rapidly than ever before, so you either keep up with it all or you just lag behind and feel a little bad for not doing what you were born to do.  I can tell you right now, you can do anything you get committed enough to do.  That is definitely so.  It is a matter of setting your mind and heart to it, after taking the time to listen to your Soul to see what is next for you to take on.

 Have you spent much time, by the way, speaking with your Soul – that wise part of you that knows all the answers and has everything you need to shoot up to the next level in your life?  Better check in, I think it is past time to commune with that part of you, the One who knows all and is your avenue to greater and greater possibilities for your life.  Expand the territory in which you reside – both internally and externally.  You will be so thankful you did.  Let your Soul lead the way and the way will be filled with magic and miracles.

Getting Out of Your Own Way

Here we are, all of us, walking around this universe, many thinking we are mere humans and that is that. Well, we aren’t. Just imagine your not having any hunches, intuition, impulses you knew you had to pay attention to at the time… Where do you think these come from? Your Soul, that exquisite place inside of you that knows, that is wise, that is connected to Spirit, even when you aren’t aware of that connection at all. You are more than flesh, you are more than that body you walk around with, you are more than the thoughts (usually the same ones you had yesterday) you have and the beliefs you carry around as if they are “the truth.” Remember the words “You shall know the Truth and the Truth shall set you free?” Well, the Truth that is referred to here is the Truth of your Being, that you are a Spiritual Being that is in form at this moment. When you get that at a deep level, life changes for you in a profound way. You honor your Self, you listen to your Self, you obey what that tiny voice is telling you at any one time. Yes, you finally get out of your own way enough to let your Soul lead the way. It takes getting still, not just once, or once in a while, but every day, for so many distract themselves from hearing their Inner Being and lose their bearings, lose their way, feel lost, rather empty, floating in a sea of discontent. Don’t you be one of those, for it is a huge waste to neglect what your Soul is saying. I wrote a book called “When Hope Can Kill, How Hope Keeps you with the Wrong Person, Reclaim your Soul for the Right Person” for many reasons. One important one, though, was to write a book about how to reclaim your Soul in relationships. That’s where we most likely first stop listening to our own wisdom, our Soul, and start trying to get the attention, the approval, the love from someone else. It continues into adulthood, having started very early in life. The idea that we must “reclaim” our Soul comes from my knowing that you came in with a pure, beautiful, wise Essence. Along the way you gave It away, let It go, stopped listening to It because it seemed to you more important to do whatever it took to get someone’s (usually a parent’s ) love. “Reclaiming” or “Restoring” your Soul is then about placing your Soul back into Its rightful place – at the Center of your Life. When you do that, you, as a person who feels they have to have someone’s love and approval, gets out of the way and your Soul gets to have full say over what you do and when and how. Now that is exciting, enlivening, and empowering.

Dwell in Possibility

For about 10 years now, I have used the phrase “I dwell in possibility” on my letterhead.  It gets lots of attention because people mostly live within a small area, boundaried by their past, their old belief patterns and what they think they can do.  I am inviting you to unlimit yourself this minute.  How, you ask?  Become aware of how you are limiting your life – in relationships, in work, in dreaming about what you want next, in every area of your life.  What don’t you let yourself do?  What reasons do you give yourself?  Throw all those reasons (excuses) away and begin enlarging your territory, so to speak.  Begin to dream so big that you know you alone can’t do it – that’s where Spirit comes in.  You are so much more than you let yourself know.  If you have a desire, it isn’t a made-up notion, an impossible idea, it is “of God,” that is actually what “desire” means.  Take it seriously and know that you have the wherewithall to do whatever it is that you desire.  Sure, it’s huge.  So?  Sure, it seems undoable.  So?  Keep still every day so that you can hear what that precious “Voice” is saying to you and do just that one step, it may be so tiny you can’t imagine it could make a difference.  But it is all part of an enormous piece that you are participating in building, all adding up to your desire coming to fruition.  I invite you right now to use the affirmation “I dwell in possibility” as many times a day as you can bring it into your mind.  You will be astounded at the results of just that one phrase – your life will become unrecognizable…

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